បណ្ណសារ សំរាប់ ខែកញ្ញា, 2008

25
កញ្ញា
08

The Hardest Thing I Had to Say Part 2

I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York. I had to go on with my life. As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn’t written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: “meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things”. I went and saw him there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside. We hugged until we couldn’t breathe anymore.

Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn’t written for a long time. He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been going and to catch up on old times. But in all of this, I couldn’t tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce. I fell in love again with him. When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see him leave. He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn’t wait for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we were together.

One day he didn’t show up like he said he would. I figured that he might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about it. Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this long till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what took place. Now I knew why he didn’t come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted. I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him?

I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will. Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She would always try everything but she couldn’t get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary. It was a diary that of his life. I cried as it was given to me. I didn’t know what to think. Why was this given to me? I took it and flew back to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together. I started reading the diary and what was written.

The diary was started with the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry. The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt. That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another. How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by me. Finally, the diary ended when it said, “today I will tell her I love her”. It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.

If you love someone, don’t wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come at all.

25
កញ្ញា
08

The Hardest Thing I Had to Say Part 1

It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up. After that first meeting in which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence. That only lasted for a little while though. We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together.

I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet he would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school. One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kinda thing that I was feeling.

All through high school and even through graduation we’re always together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurting because I didn’t tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him. After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn’t tell him how I felt. But I couldn’t let him know now that he was leaving for his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn’t tell him what I had inside my heart.

Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time. But I held back so it wouldn’t spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me.

25
កញ្ញា
08

How To Get Him Literally ADDICTED To You

I have some important questions for you. Think carefully as you answer.

* Have you ever had a man you were
interested in—maybe even someone you really cared about—all of a sudden become “distant” and withdrawn, and you just couldn’t figure out why?

* Can you remember a time when you began to develop strong feelings for a man and knew you wanted to be with him and only him, but he seemed ambivalent and “wishy-washy” about the situation – and it drove you NUTS?

* Have you ever dated a man who was AFRAID to commit to you and even HE didn’t really know why?

* Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who took you for granted, or justdidn’t value you as a person?

* Are you apprehensive about giving yourself emotionally and physically to a man because you fear that HE won’t do the same? Or worse, that he’ll only do it partially and then just leave, for what seems like no reason at all?

* Have you ever known that you and a guy would be PERFECT together – but for reasons you cannot eexplain, he just couldn’t see it?

* Do you ever feel like all men are “the same”, to the point where it makes you just want to give up?

* Do you fear that you won’t be physically satisfying or attractive to a man after months or years in a relationship, and that he won’t be as attracted and in love with you after many years together?

* Do you ever fear that YOUR man might end up with someone else?

* Do you secretly fear that you may NEVER experience the passionate life-long love you dream about, and that you might end up lonely…and alone?

If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, then I have some important news for you.

The news is that you are NOT alone.

In fact, that list of questions was created from talking to literally hundreds of women about the problems they were facing in their love lives.

It’s a fact: relationships with men so often  start off “hot and heavy”, but then quickly and UNEXPECTEDLY turn ice-cold.

Nearly all women have had the experience of feeling like they’ve finally found something “real” with a man, and sharing themselves both emotionally AND physically, only to have him suddenly PULL AWAY.

And what’s worse – when this happens, there often seems to be no explanation… and NO GOOD REASON AT ALL.

These types of situations make it easy to feel pessimistic towards men in general, and can definitely lead you to believe ALL MEN are just “screwed up”.

But is that the REAL truth?

Are men REALLY too messed up to experience a mature, healthy, loving relationship? Is there any hope?

Yes… there is.

So you know, there are 6 Keys you need to know about if you want your man to grow MORE ATTRACTED and in love with you over time, instead of less.

23
កញ្ញា
08

How Do I Get Him Back?

Web blog owner: Hey guy! I know you are reading this text, but I just to tell you that is not my my idea on this text that is somebody els. Please note that this text is just to help you solve your problem. If you need help just direct reply me.

Dear friends,

Check out this great question I got from a reader about getting back with her ex.

It’s a question I get all the time from women that points out a common misunderstanding women have about men.

***READER***

Dear Christian, I’m sorry but I need to ask you a question. I need advice and help. Me and my
ex have been together off and on many times, recently we just broke up and now he’s dating
someone else. (he doesn’t know what he wants) But I know he still has very big feelings for me
and I want advice and help on getting him back. Even though he’s dating someone right now, he
still has feelings for me, and I need help on getting him back with me and not with her.

Please help!

Sincerely,
Needy and Hopeless

***ANSWER***

Thanks for writing, your email has about 147 great things here.

Let’s look at a few of them….

The first important issue is that you’re ignoring all the important signs your ex is giving you.

Please don’t be naive…

Wake up!

Realize what’s going on here.

If he’s dating someone else, you’ve got to start moving on.

He doesn’t share your feelings of wanting to back together.

If you challenge this idea, you need to recognize that he’s not in the right place in his life to share what you want with him.

This doesn’t mean you should to go out and try to date right now, but you need to take your mind off him.
This is hard for a woman when you still have feelings for him…. but you’re setting yourselfup for ALL KINDS of pain and disappointment.

Yeah, I’ve seen couples get back together like this… but the odds are things don’t look good for this old relationship.

The more you can distance yourself from your ex whose dating another woman, the happier you’ll be.

Trust me.

And I know doing this is tough, but you’ve got to.  You’re also making a lot of assumptions about his feelings when you say “he has very big feelings for me” when you know he’s dating someone else.

Thinking about this only keeps you stuck on him and his feelings.

If you listen to the signals your ex is sending you, you’ll see that his “feelings” are just his way of holding onto you for his own comfort.

He’s already dating another woman.

That should give you a clear idea of where his mind is at (not focused on getting back with you) and what his “feelings” TRULY are.

Here’s what I want you to do first and foremost….

Think about making some decisions for YOURSELF.

Right now it sounds like your waiting for him to make all the decisions.

Think about what YOU WANT to be happy, and remember all the things your ex has done and said to let you know he’s not committed to sharing his love with you.

If you give him and yourself some space, a funny thing might happen you won’t expect….

Your ex-boyfriend won’t have the comfort of two women who both want his affection.

He won’t know that you’re still there waiting for him – and this will trigger thoughts and actions in him that will ultimately help resolve your situation.

Until then….

For your own well-being, it’s important you let him know he can’t keep sharing his intimate feelings with you while he’s dating another woman.
HERE’S A RULE YOU NEED TO REMEMEBER:

****
Never allow men who have “someone else” in their life to keep sharing and expressing their feelings for you.
****

It’s wrong on several levels… for you most of all.

When a man can have the affection of two women, and he’s in a place where he’s emotionally non-committed to neither, odds are he will try to keep this situation going for as long as possible!

Not all men would do this, but men who are “unavailable,” as it sounds your ex is, can continue multiple intimate situations at once.

You don’t want to date a man that’s in this place in his life….. and I know because I’ve been this guy in my past!

NO AMOUNT of talking, experience or reasoning with him can get him to feel the way you want him
to feel.

You can’t change a man’s emotional depth and where he’s at in his life.

“Getting him back” is a bad idea.

Rarely does this give you what you think you want.

It’s a losing battle, and you’re going to end up being hurt or upset again as you undoubtedly keep moving farther and farther away from what YOU ideally want and closer and closer to whatever strange and unhealthy situation he’s creating.

If you feel like you HAVE to see this through, then be careful. You’re going against the odds.

Don’t be “that girl.”

And I promise that you’ll ruin your chances if you think you can “convince” him to come back to you through shows of affection, appeals to his desires or other “gifts” to bribe him.

I’ve watched this EXACT thing unfold so many times.

IT DOESN’T WORK!

Instead, you should think about the times you’ve broken up and the times you’ve seen that he wasn’t personally ready for a relationship.

Those things are as real as the strong feelings and emotions you feel that keeps you coming back.

Use the issues and challenges you had together as a guide or a reminder of what’s keeping you two apart now.

And once you start doing this, I think you’re going to be strangely surprised at what starts to happen for you…

Once your guy notices that he doesn’t have you waiting around for him like a puppy dog to figure it out, while he’s off doing god knows what with other women, there’s going to be a big change inhis attitude and behavior.

It doesn’t make “sense,” but that’s how it WORKS.
****
THE CRITICAL SKILLS OF UNDERSTANDING MEN’S SIGNALS AND
IDENTIFYING GOOD MEN FROM “UNAVAILABLE TOADS”….
****

You’ve got to learn to understand and identify “EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE” men.

If a man doesn’t know what he wants, he generally doesn’t want what he’s got.

This may sound harsh, but it’s the truth of the situation. And even when it isn’t completely true, it’s a good rule to go by.

A good man who is the right person and wants to be with you will find his own way to his
“Emotional Truth.”

If his truth is that he wants to be with you, or not be with you, you have to respect that.

But I see women do it all the time.

The guy will be sending all kinds of subtle (or even direct) signs that he’s not “available” or interested in something “serious”, but the woman ignores them and just pays attention to thefact that he likes being with her when they’re together.

In other words, she substitutes the physical connection, or even the occasional emotional connection, for the real relationship she wants to be in.

WRONG!

Men have a different “love equation” from women:

A strong connection does NOT necessarily equal any interest in a relationship.

That’s why it’s CRITICAL that women learn to read the signals that a man sends about where he’s at.

Because he’s surely not going to just lay it all out there for you.

I promise.

If he does, write me an email, tell me all about it,and give me his mailing address so I can send him his prize.

When a guy isn’t interested in a relationship, and he’s doing something like seeing other women,here’s what most women start doing that makes things go from bad to worse…

They start trying to “fix” things, and “fix” the guy.

And then comes the “convincing” behavior, trying to convince the man that they are the right one for him, and that because they have such a great connection, a loving “relationship” is the only right way to go.

I know, it sounds bizarre.

Why would a man have a great woman and a great connection with her that felt amazing when they were together, and not want a relationship?

I’ll get to that later…

The thing I’m worried about here for you is that in trying to get your guy back, you’re making these mistakes that are like “man-repellent.”

So I’ll say it again.

You can’t convince a man to want to be with you.

I don’t know the specifics surrounding your off-and-on with the ex, but it speaks volumes.

Especially when it’s combined with him not “knowing what he wants.”

This is CLASSIC man-speak for “I’m not emotionally available and I’m not ready for a real relationship”.

When he can’t get in touch with his feelings and isn’t open to exploring them, it’s a text-bookcase of unavailability.

I don’t mean that he can’t share feelings or some level of intimacy with you….

In fact, I’m sure he still likes to connect with you when things are easy-going and he’s not
feeling “pressure” around you.

But your ex sharing his feelings with you can easily confuse you into thinking that he is potentially the right guy and ready for a long-term relationship.

I’m sure you’ve seen this since you’ve been back and forth with him. But when a guy is unavailable, he has a fear of getting deeper into a relationship that he knows he’s not ready for.

In his own way he’s tried to tell you this several
times.

Here’s what he’s saying:

Yes, I have “feelings” for you.

And no… that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you and be faithful.

Take some time to think about the past with your ex, and then compare that to what will honestly make YOU happy, and what kind of relationship you want in your future.

If you’re honest about it with yourself, I don’t think he’ll fit well into that based on hisactions and behavior.

Put more value on his actions, not his words.

Get back to the things that you enjoy, the places you like to go and avoid places or thingsyou used to do or see with your ex.

Spend some time with your friends and give yourself the space you deserve.

The less you talk about your ex and this situation for now, the better off you’ll be.

And I think you’ll be amazed at the results.

First, I think you’ll just plain old feel better.

But even better than that, you’ll be breaking the old connection that you had with your ex.

And as counterintuitive as it sounds, breaking out of your old connection is actually the thing that’s going to change the situation for you the most and help get you the results you want.

Right now, your convincing him and your wanting him back, even when he’s with another woman, is making you come off in all kinds of ways that men just don’t respond well to.

I know it seems like the best idea to keep trying to stay in touch with him and keep the connection alive.

But the truth is that you’re just keeping this same old situation alive by pumping your time and attention into it.

If instead, you step back and stop chasing him or trying to convince him you’re the right woman, you’ll have an opportunity to do something that  can honestly be ATTRACTIVE to him-

You first leave a space that he’ll not recognize and not understand, which will first get him thinking about you and then wondering why you aren’t acting the way you used to.

Men love “new” things and curiosities.

Plus, you’ll also be able to give him the space he’s tried asking you for in his emotionally-retarded,unavailable “man-speak.”

Something funny happens when a man gets the space he asked for-

If you do it in the right way, he’s forced to deal with himself and his own feelings to figure out that all the things he is worried about, afraid of, fearful of “committing to”, etc.

And being by himself, he’ll see that these things are really just in his own mind – and not bad things about YOU.

In other words – he won’t keep taking all the old “stuff” from the past that wasn’t working and keep identifying it with YOU.

But you’ve to go know the way to “re-wire” the connection once you’ve broken the old one.

And if you can do this, I guarantee he’ll come calling wondering about you.

In my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”, I detail specific ways to communicate with men that will  help you build that new connection.

There are several psychological and behavioral “keys” that will help to open a man up, and just as importantly, make him feel that electric kind of ATTRACTION for you.

I’m talking about the kind of attraction that gets a guy feeling, at a deep level, that he wants to be with you right now AND far into the
future.

This goes for the “unavailable” guys too who seem to keep withdrawing and don’t communicate much about their feelings or what they want.

These guys are the toughest ones.

If there’s just ONE PIECE OF ADVICE that holds more power for women than any other when it comes to men, it’s this concept of only dating emotionally-available men.

In my ebook, I also talk about how to identify good men from the “unavailable” ones.

If you’re dating, wouldn’t it be great to know what kind of guy you’re dealing with FROM THE START?

And if think you’re already got an unavailable guy on your hands, and you’re wondering what you can do after all the frustrating disappointments that have gone on…

There’s AN ENTIRE SECTION of the book dedicated to helping you both understand the emotional world of a man (yikes, right?) and how to lead him to a better way of being with and understanding you.

So make the choice to do something about your love life and create the situation you want in
your life.

22
កញ្ញា
08

Three Words

Girl: Do you really love me?
Boy: Of course I do.
Girl: I wanna hear you say it.
Boy: I don’t have to.
Girl: Why not?
Boy: Because…
Girl: I just want to hear you say it in words.
Boy: I can’t…
The girl started to cry softly and said:
Then you don’t love me…
The two continued to walk in silence. They
reached the girls home.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Do you really want to know?
Girl: (hesitantly) Yes.
He hugged her gently, kissed the tip of her nose
and whispered in her ear,
“Because three words are not enough…”

22
កញ្ញា
08

Let me Love You

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn’t seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let’s go their own ways there and then… heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company…

“You never fail until you stop trying.” he always told himself. “I must make it in life!”
One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn’t take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend’s parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn’t the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them…and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone… and he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle … therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept …the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can’t have them and will never see them again.
The End.”

A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.
Take this weekend to show our “love” to all that are close to us.

22
កញ្ញា
08

What Your Feelings Are Telling Him

A MISTAKE ALMOST ALL WOMEN MAKE WITH MEN… AND
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT…

There’s one mistake that almost all women make with men they’re interested in.

This particular mistake is the source of so many different problems women have in their lives and elationships, that dealing with it should be a healthcare benefit or something.

Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you get the point.

And by the way, men make a similar mistake, but it shows up in different ways.

The mistake is allowing yourself to become VERLY EMOTIONAL around the person you’re dating in a negative and self-destructive way.

So then what happens?

The short-lived emotional outbreak that was  only a big deal to you at the time, finds a way to screw up the great situation that you have going.

What’s going on here with how men react?

Why do some men make such a big deal out of having strong feelings, caring so much and wanting to talk and share?

The truth is, doing these things is showing the man that you’re EMOTIONALLY OUT OF CONTROL.

And nothing says “RUN” to a guy more clearly early on than these intense negative emotional “episodes” and an out-of-control partner.

Let me remind you of something important…

When most women start dating a great guy, they have a whole slew of POSITIVE FEELINGS, IDEAS and BELIEFS about where things are going and how they might work out.

These are common, satisfying and exciting thoughts.

And often times, it’s the power of these

positive feelings that are the catalyst in helping women look past the FEARS and NEGATIVE FEELINGS from past situations and move into something new.

In other words, these POSITIVE FEELINGS and BELIEFS become the driving forces to “try it again.”

In this situation, lots of women tell themselves in the back of their minds:

“I’m smarter now.”

“This time it’s different.”

“I’m over that bad period of my life where I let jerks and immature ‘boys’ mess up my life.”

“This guy wouldn’t hurt me the way that other jerk did.”

But the reality is that lots of women who tell themselves this aren’t actually “different” or “smarter” at all.

The only thing that’s changed is the scenery.

Instead, they still carry the FEARS and  NEGATIVE BELIEFS that hold them back from creating new situations and experiences in their lives.

But then it happens…

In the new situation, with the new guy, things suddenly stop being so easy, so new and so “perfect.”

And eventually something seems “off” or goes wrong here too with the new guy, even if it’s something small.

And “WHAM!”

All the old fears and negative beliefs come rushing back out of nowhere.

That familiar sick feeling in the stomach is back.

The guy problems they thought they had left behind followed them here too.

So they FREAK OUT.

They become anxious and those voices start playing in their head again.

“There must be something wrong with me.”

“There are no good men… they’re all selfish jerks and I’ll never find one who gets me and can really love me for who I am.”

“I’ll never find true love, so I should just give up and stop putting myself through so much pain.”

I bet you’ve got a few of your own here to add to the list from that negative voice in your head.

We all do.

And you know what?

All of these are utter and total CRAP.

Here’s what I’ve learned about these voices…

When these negative voices start getting louder, most women leave behind the confidence, “positivity” and optimism they had with a man that helped create the great situation in the first place.

And they literally become DRIVEN by fear.

All the goodwill disappears and is replaced by defensiveness and negative sensitivity.

This is what it’s like having ZERO control of your emotions.

And guess what?

This is 100% “GRADE A” MAN REPELLENT.

Men do not want to get involved or committed to women who act emotionally dependent from the start and “lose it” at the first sign of difficulty.

When most women see the first signs of trouble or that a man is acting “non-committal” after becoming close and “invested” in the situation, they FREAK OUT inside.

When a man doesn’t call back or starts to withdraw, they get upset and afraid and act in fear.

When a man doesn’t share the same feelings at the same time in the same way, they become nervous and unsure in everything they do with a man.

The point I’m making here is that if you allow yourself to become TOO emotional and fearful in situations with men, and dependent on their behavior for your emotional state, it will screw
you up.

Guaranteed.

And even worse than letting your emotions control you and your behavior is trying to TALK men through all of the emotions and fears.

This is a nail in the coffin.

Think about it for a second…

Most men don’t even talk through their feelings or fears with their BEST FRIENDS.

Men prefer to confront, challenge, ignore or break through fear in some kind of masculine way.

Anything but observe or share fear. It’s not part of their make-up.

I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth.

Get where I’m going with this?

But hold on a second…

Emotions are GOOD, right?

Shouldn’t we listen to them and respect what they’re telling us?

Doesn’t a man need to be there for his woman if she’s going through something?

Aren’t emotions the thing that allow us to really EXPERIENCE life in a deep, rich and meaningful way?

And isn’t it wrong and harmful to try and “control how you feel?”

Isn’t it better to just “be who you are” and not beat yourself up because you feel or think about things in a certain way?

And wouldn’t ignoring or avoiding your feelings turn you into someone you’re not?

Have you ever heard a woman (or a man) say “Ican’t help the way I feel”…?

We all have.

We even have TERMS that we use to describe whenwe’re overly upset and just need to “get it out.”

We call it “venting” or “dumping.”

I call it the “drama vomit.” lol

So here’s the question I’m getting at…

Is it “OK” it to be upset, to get emotional, and to show EXACTLY how you feel inside with men?

YOU CREATE WHAT YOU SHARE

To make things simple, let’s put emotions into two categories…

There are those that you could consider “positive” emotions or those based in “joy.”
And then there are “negative” emotions. or those based in “fear.”

In other words, there are the emotions that make you “feel good” and emotions that make you”feel bad.”

We all know that emotions aren’t “self-contained.”

Isn’t it frustrating when you feel angry or down and you just want a man to hear you and listen to you -but then they get all wrapped up and intense just because you wanted to share?

Well, if you’ve ever had this happen to you and you got frustrated or angry about it, then you’ve got something important to learn.

Emotions are CONTAGIOUS.

In other words, when you feel an emotion, you can very easily pass what you’re feeling on to the person you’re sharing it with.

And the stronger you feel the emotion, the more it will “override” the other person and get themon your emotional level.

Even if their level is CONSTRUCTIVE and POSITIVE and yours is DESTRUCTIVE and NEGATIVE.

And when an emotion starts to become too strong, it literally TAKES OVER your mind and body.

Then you’re driven with your body language and your words to share that feeling.

In some situations, this can be a very powerful, POSITIVE thing for a person.

Imagine your favorite actor or singer giving a world-class performance… you can literally FEEL the emotions they’re feeling.

Or how about when a man surprises you with a romantic night with candlelight and he’s open,connected and sharing himself with you.

It can be an amazing experience when they allow their emotions to take over. And you get to gothere with them.

But it can also be a very powerful NEGATIVE thing as well.

Have you ever been spending time with a guy and he became LESS CONNECTED to you as you were becoming MORE CONNECTED to him.

It probably made you so nervous, anxious and out of control that you made yourself sick.

When an emotion becomes so strong that it actually “becomes you”, your behavior and your sole motivation… then you’re out of control.

Emotions can actually trick you into trying to CONTROL others, just to get back to where you feel comfortable.

And instead of simply communicating what it is that you’re going through and what you want, you actually try and make the other person FEEL the bad things that YOU FEEL.

Ouch.

And sure, the short-term payoff for this is

usually some sense of immediate relief or resolution.

You get your feelings off your chest and get to release them, which can feel great at the time.

But the long-term effects aren’t so sunny.

So let me ask you…

What if your quality of life and your relationships could be BETTER than the negative emotions and fears that hijack your mind?

What if you made a man feel a deep sense of LOVE instead of sharing the contagious NEGATIVEEMOTIONS that come from your fears?

And what if you broke out of those same old patterns that keep happening again and again?

FEAR AND THE UNCONSCIOUS POWER OF EMOTIONS

Strong emotions create strong MEMORIES.

We tend to remember things better if we were feeling a strong emotion at the time.

Especially if the memory came during or after an intense emotion.

I can remember so many situations in my life where I was too nervous and afraid to share myself completely with a woman or to “be myself.”

So I kept one foot out the door and I’d never say much about what I really wanted and needed in a relationship.

It was my secret excuse and my way of staying unhappy so that I didn’t have to fully commit to creating a great life with the woman and take any responsibility for my own experience or the woman’s.

I can vividly remember situations TEN YEARS AGO where I was so nervous and uncomfortable when relationships became serious that the emotion burned the image into my mind.

When this kind of thing happens a lot (like it has with me), it starts to make a “feedback loop.”

In other words, most of the strong memories I had about relationships with women were situations where I SCREWED UP and made myself feel unhappy, unheard and uncomfortable… so as the years went by, I had less and less comfort and confidence that I could never feel happy in a long-term
relationship.

Give me a nod here if you know what I’m talking about.

THE “EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION” THAT WILL MAKE A MAN ADDICTED TO BEING CLOSE TO YOU

I’m sure you’ve already figured out that I’m going to suggest that you learn how to “own” your emotions in situations with men.

Let me talk for a moment about the reasons WHY it’s important to do this.

Remember, when it comes to ATTRACTION, all of the “logic” changes.

You have to stop thinking about what you’ve learned about being “in touch” with ALL of your emotions and realize that a man’s ATTRACTION isn’t triggered by you being EVERYTHING that you feel.

That’s a nice fairytale, but it’s a lie.

Your friends, your parents and your girlfriends might give you “unconditional love” and understanding in this way, but men won’t start to feel love, passion and connection with you if you’re playing out ALL the things you feel with him.

So I have TWO good reasons why you need to learn how to own your emotions around men:

1) If your emotions “own you” early on, you probably won’t even be able to talk to him ordate in a fun and spontaneous way that men crave.You’ll just be too FREAKED OUT to even get to the good stuff with him – and God forbid, help him seehis way through all his potential hang-ups.

(Not that you want to…lol)

2) Men aren’t ATTRACTED to women who let theiremotions control them all the time and drive theirinteractions. This is ESPECIALLY true when women act needy or overly sensitive to anythingthe guy does or says. Overly needy women will never figure out how to get to that fun, playful,
risky, passionate state with a man that brings himclose and spells “long-term girlfriend material” in his mind.

We talked about the first reason already.

Let’s talk about the second one.

Why don’t men like women who are
overly emotional?

Because men NEVER feel ATTRACTION for women
that they can CONTROL.

The more control a man has over you, the less
ATTRACTION he feels for you.

The less of a CHALLENGE you are – and the more
PREDICTABLE you become – the less ATTRACTION he
feels. It’s very simple.

To put it another way; if you’re the type of
woman who lets her emotions TAKE OVER, then you
need to learn how to “own” them.

If you don’t, you’re going to have a VERY hard
time succeeding with men after a date or two.

THE FIRST STEP…

I think that the first step in learning how to
own your STRONG emotions is to realize how they’re
created or “triggered.”

Most strong emotions are TRIGGERED.

Something happens that “pushes a button” inside
of you and BAM!… the emotion happens before you
even have a chance to think about it.

But the fact is that these “triggers” have a
structure to them.

There are all kinds of little things that
happen during that “trigger.”

One of the biggest insights that I’ve had about
these “triggers” is that they’re usually caused by
making something that happens MEAN something
negative.

In other words, it’s not the actual situation
itself that “pulls the trigger” or “pushes the
button”… it’s what you think it MEANS.

For instance, let’s say that you’ve met a
great guy, went on a few amazing dates, and then
he wasn’t as quick to call you and make plans as
he was at the very start.

You wait a day or two, and he doesn’t even
call.

What do you usually think?

“Maybe he doesn’t like me. Maybe he has a
another woman. Maybe he’s trying to avoid me.
Maybe he’s withdrawing like those other guys
did in the past.”

In other words, we make the fact that he
didn’t call back MEAN all these different things.

Another HUGE insight I’ve had in this area is
that women allow their imaginations to take over
and imagine the WORST possible outcomes.

Then they get nervous about that outcome
happening and FREAK OUT.

The point is that most of us (men and women)
use our minds to imagine the WORST possible
outcomes for dating and relationship situations…
and it pushes all the wrong buttons, and gets us
all nervous and upset… which, of course, makes
us screw everything up.

When it comes to men, it’s important that you
lose the need to make everything MEAN something…
and STOP imagining the worst.

Think about those situations when a man
doesn’t call you back… or plays hard to get.

Yeah, thinking that someone is playing games
sucks, but the belief that there’s a “game” going
on is exactly the kind of negative meaning I’m
talking about.

If you immediately start to wonder where he
is… what he’s doing… and who he’s with, you
create the game in your mind.

Then you make up pictures in your mind of him
out with other women, doing fun things without
you, etc., and it’s really upsetting.

Bad idea.

This is the kind of thing that makes us do
all KINDS of stupid things that scare the other
person away… like calling 100 times a day,
asking where he was and what he was doing, etc.

Instead, start doing yourself a favor and:

1) Visualize your ideal outcome.

2) Make POSITIVE meaning out of the experience for
yourself.

If he doesn’t call you back right away, imagine
that he is freaked out with his own life and
schedule (maybe his boss just threatened to let
him go), and make it mean that when he finally
DOES talk to you, he’s going to be even MORE
interested because it took you so long to catch
up with each other.

If he tells you he’s not ready for a
relationship right now because of his past,
realize that he’s first of all feeling that way
because he REALLY likes you and has had to think
about being in a relationship because his
feelings are so strong.

He’s scared of his deep feelings for you and
doesn’t know how to deal with that yet.

And that once he figures it out for himself,
he’ll miss you and want you… and you don’t have
to be there waiting around for him to grow up.

There’s nothing wrong with you or how you are.

And it’s great that you got to see this problem
of his early on, and that it’s his to deal with.

Does this stuff sound strange?

Well, I’ll tell you something…

All of the women I know who end up in great
long-term relationships, with great attractive men
think this way.

This is their mindset.

Have you ever noticed that confident people
seem to get more confident…

That optimistic people tend to get more
optimistic…

That people who believe in luck seem to get
more and more lucky…

And that people who are negative seem to become
more and more negative?

It’s almost like a universal magic. The more we
expect things to go well, the better they go. Try
it; it works.

Also, start noticing those particular things
and situations that trigger your strong “negative”
emotions.

Learn to spot the signs that it’s about to
happen, and then learn how to keep yourself
centered.

If you can learn how to do this, the quality
of ALL your relationships in your life will
improve DRAMATICALLY.

Especially with men.

Now, this is just the tip of the iceberg, so
to speak.

It’s also important to learn how to improve
your self-image, overcome FEAR, maintain your
emotional and physical attractiveness, and
communicate using your “truest” indicator of
desirability to a man – your body language…

Then you can learn how to learn, grow and
stay connected with a man in each and every
situation that comes up.

Where can you learn every one of my best
concepts, ideas and tips for this stuff?

Check out my eBook “Catch Him & Keep Him.”

It’s chock full of all kinds of my best ideas
on understanding your own psychology, fear and
behavior.

It will help lead you to communicating in
a fun and natural way with a man that keeps
him INTENSELY ATTRACTED and EXCITED about each
new day of your future together.

I also give you all kinds of amazing “secrets”
and insights into how men think, why they act the
way they do… and what to do about the situations
you’ll come up against on your path to lasting
love.




ប្រកាសនានាដែលលើគេ

ខែកញ្ញា 2008
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